(no subject)

Today I woke up Single and I was okay with it. I could feel my stone armor again, and it felt good, protective. At times I feel the desperation/suffocation rising, but it comes in waves, and the waves haven't been as high or strong as they once were. It's probably going to be up and down for a while, but it's good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm thankful for the classes I've been taking in the evenings. They're long and intense and the people I'm with are a ton of fun; I have no time to think about things too much. My subconscious has been working double time though, sorting things out so I can move on. Staying busy and not dwelling on the past is key. And so is meditation, which I have taken up to cover the moments when I could otherwise be a puddle of sorrow lying on the kitchen floor.

This morning I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep. I thought about re-arranging the furniture, but then decided to save that task for the weekend. Instead, I went around the apartment and collected his things into a bag and put the bag out of sight. And this weekend will be a massive cleaning/re-arranging.

Alles ist abgetan.