Insomnia shell

Insomnia struck last night, stealing my rest and leaving me a walking shell this morning. 

In the two hours of sleep that I did manage to get I had a stress dream where a woman shattered a vase that was for some reason of deep importance to me. We had once been friends but now were enemies, due to a misunderstanding that she refused to acknowledge. Clearly, it mirrors my current situation with S.

A new Rune Soup member found us on the 'Find the Others' map. A guy named Tal.  It'll be nice to meet another magician.

I ended my water fast at 62 hours with some Indian food: Lamb with spinach (no rice), and a tiny, tossed greens side salad. It was the perfect amount. I'm basically trying to go for a high-fat, low carb diet from here on out, paired with intermittent fasting. We'll see how it goes.

I pronounced Picatrix finished this morning and posted it on Instagram. They must have updated the algorithm again because the likes are rolling in super slowly. Or maybe it's because I haven't posted in like 1,000,000 years. 

Whatever, it felt good to update my website with a new painting.

Animism and Esther Schipper

I had a talk with my boss and then a talk with the CEO. 

And then there was a company meeting and it was announced to the remaining employees that layoffs had been made, and that I was one of them. The company is down to 13 employees now, and has enough money to keep going until October, by which time they think they may be able to turn things around. 

I hope they do. My boss told me that if they do, and the company begins to scale up again, he might be able to offer me some freelance work. I mean, it would make sense. I know the product better than almost anyone. Fuck, I designed it.

Going freelance is beginning to seem more and more attractive to me. That way I could dedicate half of my time to UX Design, and half my time to painting in my studio. It would be a work-life-balance dream come true. Working full time and painting all the rest of the time has had me at borderline burnout for years.

Animism. To view everything as alive and having a soul, a consciousness. Tell the weeds to fuck off, tell the flowers to grow. This cup with a chip, I love it and give it a kiss. If you interact with the world as a living, conscious being, it will begin to interact with you back. It begins to speak through synchronicities and odd coincidences. The world is alive. 

I need to remember this and act accordingly. 

I'd like to go to a party, to an art opening somewhere. A couple years ago I went to as many art openings each week as I could. I met so many interesting people and saw incredible art. I shook Albert Oehlen's hand at Galerie Buchholz. 

I want that inspiration again, the excitement of climbing the stairs up to Esther Schipper, the Gallery above Blain Southern. 

There was an installation of grass on the floor at Esther Schipper and one of the guys I was talking to walked across it on a dare. I couldn't believe he did it.

Esther Schipper has some of the best parties, that's for certain. And while conceptual art isn't necessarily my thing, I do appreciate it. I like the way it bends my mind inside out. 

Sad that this flu virus has everyone on edge, and it's sad that Blain Southern has closed for good. Blain Southern was also one of the best. To have one fantastic gallery stacked on top of an other was a dream come true. 

Hopefully there will be more good dreams to come.