alcippe | Fasting and unemployment

Just laid down the pink gradient on Picatrix. Looking good, but I want to see it in natural daylight and when the paint has dried to fully assess the situation. For now I still consider it work in progress, but it's probably finished.

'Picatrix', 60cm x 60cm, oil on canvas.

It just occurs to me that I'm at 47 hours of a water fast. Almost a full two days, I'm impressed with myself.

I'm aiming for 60 hours – only because at work we are having a team lunch, and I don't intend to sit there with a glass of water.

Why are we having a team lunch? Because I was laid off on Friday and the whole team is a little shaken. I'm still a little shaken, too, to be honest.

So this means I'm officially in work purgatory. My awesome German work contract protects me by stating that the company must continue to employ me for 3 additional months after announcing my termination. It's fantastic financially — and I'm 100% happy that my ass is covered like this – but it has the drawback of being mentally and emotionally awkward. I want to move on to other things, and everyone who wasn't laid off has survivor's guilt. So continuing to work for the next 3 months is going to be weird.

Whatever, we'll probably all be working from home in a couple weeks due to coronavirus anyway.

Still trying to figure out what I want to do. Take some time off to focus on painting? Or just jump back in with another job?

What is the right step for me right now? What do I even want?